The Loneliness Is Gone
by bodybroke
Summary: Hanna is the first person Emily comes out to on her own terms.


**This is just a little one shot I wrote after lurking in a conversation about these two somewhere. I've never read the books, so I have no idea how anyone finds out about Emily in the books or how they will on the show, so this is doesn't contain any spoilers or anything. I hope you enjoy, and ignore any spelling mistakes, and of course review, please.**

* * *

Hanna was just getting ready for bed when she heard her phone buzz on her nightstand, signaling a new text. She froze at the sound like she always did, afraid the text was from A. She slowly walked over to the device, trying to think of anything she did that day that could be hung over her head. The fact that she came up blank did nothing to ease her fear. She's learned that A always found something.

She cautiously reached for the phone and checked the screen, relief flooding her when she saw the text wasn't from A. It was Emily. She clicked to read and scrunched her nose up in confusion.

_Can I come in?_

She moved to her window, hoping to find some kind of confirmation that it really was her friend out there. Ever since A was in Spencer's house, all the girls had been extra paranoid. It was hard to see through the pouring rain and she didn't see Mrs. Field's car parked outside, but that didn't mean it wasn't really her. She bit her lip, debating what to do. Emily wouldn't be there unless it was important, especially not with all the A stuff going on, so she knew if she didn't go down, and it was actually her, she'd regret it.

She was quiet as she walked passed her mother's room, and then sped down the stairs. She checked the peephole and sighed in relief when she saw that it really was the other girl standing there. She quickly unlocked the door and ripped it open. "Jesus."

Emily was soaking wet and shaking. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her body, and Hanna wasn't sure, but it looked like she was crying too. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," Hanna rushed out, reaching forward to bring the girl in. "Did you walk here? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I just got into a really huge fight with my mom, and she kicked me out," Emily whispered, finally looking the blonde in the eyes to plead with her not to question any further. "Can I stay here tonight? I didn't know where else to go."

Hanna couldn't remember the last time Emily had ever asked her for anything. She, just like all of them, was very independent, and didn't like to ask for help. So for her to be here, begging her for something, it had to bad. "Of course, sweetie."

"Thank you."

Hanna rubbed the girl's arms, both in comfort and in a sad attempt to warm her up, and gave her a reassuring smile. Once Emily seemed to relax a bit under her hands, she moved to close and relock the door. "Come on, let's get you into some dry clothes, okay? My mom's sleeping, so just try to be quiet."

The brunette nodded, but didn't say anything and let Hanna lead her up the stairs. Once they reached her room, Hanna gave the other girl some of her old baggier clothes to change into, and she disappeared into the bathroom to dry off and change.

Now that she was alone, Hanna racked her brain trying to think of anything that could have caused Mrs. Fields to kick her daughter out. She wasn't the most open-minded person, but she had no doubt that she loved Emily and that the two of them were very close. Had she told her about A? Or what they'd done to Jenna?

It could have been that, but she didn't see that leading to Emily being so upset. If anything, she would have been angry, not hurt, like she clearly was. It had to be something else, but she didn't know. It wasn't until just then that Hanna realized that even though their little group had recently reunited and were bonded together by A knowing all their secrets – _they_ didn't know each other's secrets. Despite their renewed bond, they obviously still didn't trust each other fully.

She wasn't going to push Emily into telling her what happened, but she hoped she would be willing to open up to her. They might not be as close as they once were, but she loved Emily, just like she loved Aria and Spencer, and she wanted to help her in any way she could.

* * *

Emily moved mechanically as she dried herself off, then did her hair, and then slipped into the clothes Hanna had given her. She replayed the fight over and over in her head, her mother's harsh words stinging worse each time she thought of them. She pushed the hair out of her face and just stared at herself in the mirror, practically seeing the night's events play out in her eyes.

She had come home from practice to find her mother sitting in the kitchen with an unreadable expression on her face, and a cell phone in front of her. It didn't take her long to confront her about a picture someone had texted her, one of her and Maya together. One that made it impossible to deny what she was being accused of. She had never expected her mother to take the news well, but she didn't think she would react as strongly as she did. Insults had been yelled, tears had been shed, and ultimatums had been given.

And here she stood. She wasn't really sure what had caused to her come to Hanna of all people, over Spencer and Aria, and even Maya or Toby. But her feet had just led her there.

Taking a deep breath, Emily composed herself and left the safety of the bathroom, and silently made her way back to her friend's bedroom. When she walked in, she found the blonde getting ready for bed. Hanna must have heard her close the door behind her, because she turned around and gave her a soft smile.

"You like the left side, right?" Hanna asked, obviously remembering all the countless sleepovers they had had in the past – some just the two of them, some with the other three girls. Emily didn't know why, but her friend's words just broke her heart, and all she could do was nod her head.

She wordlessly walked to her side of the bed, and slipped under the covers, Hanna following right behind her. It didn't take long for her to get comfortable, or for a bunch of memories to come flooding back. She remembered all the nights she had spent in this house and in this bed, sharing laughs with the girl beside her, and she didn't know how they ended up this way.

She knew that Ali had gone missing, but she didn't know what happened after that, not with Hanna. She knew Aria moved away, and though she hadn't been close with Spencer, they were still friends, and she knew that was the same for Spencer and Hanna. But she didn't know what happened between her and Hanna, why they had stopped talking all together.

Looking down at her wrist, though, she remembered. She had loved Ali, loved her in a way that the other girls didn't, and so she missed her in a way that they didn't, that they couldn't. They all missed her too, she knew, but none of them could understand just how much she missed Alison. That was hard enough to deal with, but then Hanna started to change, she started trying to take Ali's place, and Emily couldn't deal with it. She was still too devastated, hurt and confused to handle everything, and she just pushed herself away. It was the only way she could deal.

But lately, Hanna had been acting more like her old self again. She was still the bitchy Queen B, but Emily could see that old, sweet girl come shining through every so often, and right now, that was more than enough. Enough time had passed for her to be okay with it all, to let her back in, let them all back in.

But there was one thing she had to do in order to do that.

"I'm gay," she confessed into the dark, leaving it at that.

She instantly felt better, finally being able to speak the words out loud for the very first time. It was liberating. Alison had figured it out, Maya had assumed, Toby had seen the pictures, and A had told her mother. For the first time, she was coming out on her own terms, taking her fate into her own hands, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Like she was free.

When Hanna hadn't said anything after a few moments, Emily looked over at her friend cautiously, only to find her eyes closed. She was asleep. It knocked the wind right out of her sails. After all of that time and agonizing over her secret, she finally gets the courage to speak the words out loud, and nobody heard them.

It didn't take long at all for the tears to start. She rolled over on her side, putting her back to Hanna, and let the sobs rack through her body, crying for the second time that night. This time, however, instead of being greeted with the cold indifference her mother had given her, she felt arms wrap around her midsection and a body press against her back.

"It's okay," Hanna whispered into her ear, pressing her face into Emily's back and tightening her hold. She wasn't asleep at all. "It's okay, Em, I don't care, I love you, okay? I still love you, no matter what, and Aria and Spencer do, too. It's okay, sweetie."

Emily continued to cry, but they were tears of relief. She gripped Hanna's arms, and pulled them around herself desperately, needing to feel the girl behind her. She was homeless, she was confused, and she was getting texts from some crazy stalker, but it was okay, because she had her friends. She _really_ had her friends now, and she knew there wasn't anything she couldn't face as long as she had them.


End file.
